Join Studio Players for a night of comedy featuring two one act plays by New Jersey’s own Christopher Durang. Directed by Bill O’Brien.


  • Jessa Blackthorne
  • Ian Federgreen
  • Elena Lobo
  • Daniel Marti
  • Miranda Montalvo
  • Eric Najimian 
  • Kevin Ohlweiler
  • Judy Wilson
  • Annette Winter 

See our online program

See our sensory guide

Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All to You

Welcome to Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrows School, where Sister Mary Ignatius rules the roost with her theology of a bygone era…or tries to. Backed by visual aids depicting the earth, the sun, heaven, hell, purgatory, and limbo, Sister Mary expounds, without delay, on the moral order of the universe, as settled by Catholic doctrine…but her former students may have something to say about all of this and more.

Winner of the  1980 Obie Award for best play.

The Actors Nightmare

Having casually wandered onstage, George is informed that one of the actors, Eddie, has been in an auto accident and he must replace him immediately. Apparently no one is sure of what play is being performed but George seems to find himself in the middle of a scene from Private Lives, surrounded by such luminaries as Sarah Siddons, Dame Ellen Terry and Henry Irving. What is fantasy and what is reality as wacky chaos continues to erupt around him?


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Performance Dates:

January 28, 29, Feb 4, 5, 11, 12 at 8:00pm

January 30, February 6 at 3:00pm

In the ever changing face of the COVID pandemic, Studio Players has made the following changes to meet or exceed CDC Guidelines as well as local, state, and federal laws.


Attendees of Shows, Staff, Performers, Volunteers

  • All Patrons of Studio Players, staff, performers, volunteers must be fully vaccinated with an FDA or WHO authorized COVID vaccine, no exceptions. WE WILL NO LONGER BE ADMITTING ANYONE WHO IS NOT FULLY VACCINATED (2 doses minimum)
    • This means:
      • 2 weeks after second dose in a 2-dose series, such as the Pfizer or Moderna vaccines
      • 2 weeks after a single-dose vaccine (J&J).
  • All Patrons of Studio Players, staff, performers, volunteers must show proof of vaccination to enter. Accepted methods include:
    • Original CDC Vaccination Card and photo ID.
    • Photo of CDC Vaccination Card and photo ID.
    • Docket App (New Jersey Residents only): Docket is a free app from the NJ Department of Health that makes it easier for you and your family to securely access your COVID-19 vaccination record. The Docket App is available on Apple’s App Store and Google Play.
    • Excelsior Pass  (New York residents only)is a free app from the NYS Dept of Health that makes it easy for you to access your vaccination record. It is available on Apple’s App Store and Google Play.
  • All patrons during events and actors, staff, volunteers during rehearsals are required to wear masks that cover both their nose and mouth while inside Studio Players. Acceptable masks via:
    • CDC Mask Guidelines are as follows:
      • Disposable surgical masks
      • Cloth masks
      • KN95/N95 masks
    • Not Acceptable Masks are as follows:
      • Neck gaiters or bandanas
      • Masks with an exhalation valve or vent
      • Plastic face shield alone

Precautions Studio Players Is Taking

  • Tickets are touchless. They are purchased ahead of time online or may be purchased at the door.
  • Seating unlike our previous policy is general seating so audience members may space themselves out as needed.
  • We will not be selling refreshments.
  • Hand sanitizer, wipes, and masks are available to all at no charge.
  • We have upgraded our filtration system.
  • We ask that patrons do not linger in the lobby before the show, during intermission unless online for bathroom, after the show. Immediately exit the building after the show. Performers can meet you outside.
  • Our performers while on stage will not be masked. They are over 10 feet away at minimum from audience members while they are on the stage.

Liability and Personal Responsibility

  • By choosing to attend any Studio Players event, you are assuming all risks related to being exposed to COVID-19 and Studio Players will not be held responsible.
  • Monitor your health. If you don’t feel well, please stay at home.
  • If you have exhibited symptoms of COVID-19 in the past 10 days, have tested positive for COVID-19 within the past 10 days, or have been in contact with someone with COVID-19 in the past 10 days, please stay home.

While attending any Studio Players event, please follow the directions of our staff and volunteers. For the safety of all of our patrons, we reserve the right to ask you to leave the premises if you are unable or unwilling to follow these guidelines in their entirety. Thank you for your full support!